by Comrade Bowl, 18th August 2005

The recent stream of problems that have blighted the nation’s Counter Terrorism Unit have in the last few days culminated in calls for a democratic election to determine the new leader of the security force.

The recent resignation of former leader, a Citizen named thelightfantastic, left the post in a stand against King Danny’s decision to appoint his close friends ministers of his cabinet, without consulting the vast majority of the population. thelightfantastic made a dramatic final post as CTU Director, saying that the Danny’s decision was making his job ‘increasingly draining’ but that it had been ‘great’ working with his former colleagues, despite pleas to stay on.

The move prompted Citizen Toaster to also resign his position as Head of MI6, an act of solidarity in stark contrast to the recent and bitter infighting between the two organisations. Citizen Okl was quick to step in and assume power, and was immediately faced with the task of uniting his bickering troops.

The CTU seemed divided in loyalties between the new self-appointed leader, and those who pledged allegiance to the ‘old guard’, as it has become known. The ex-head himself described the melee as a ‘free-for-all’. The situation was immediately seized upon by the People’s Revolution Movement (PRM), fronted by Citizen Seperatist, with whom the CTU have had long-running ongoing clashes.

Things took a turn for the worse when Citizen Steady, the Deputy Head of the CTU, branded Citizen Oki an ‘ex-terrorist’ with ‘no jurisdiction’, before launching an attack on fellow Deputy Head, Citizen super_chopper, accusing him of ‘trying to depose the true head of CTU by spreading slurs and lies’.

Assistant to the Deputy Heads, Citizen mrgarethm, was the next on the receiving end of internal abuse, with Deputy Head Citizen chuff branding him a ‘traitor’ and a ‘double’. Suspicion grew as the PRM verified the declaration, claiming that he was a revolutionary secret agent from the start, though this is still denied vehemently by Citizen mrgarethm.

Not straying far from the limelight, the PRM, represented by Citizen biffa99, stunned everyone by appearing to extend the hand of friendship to the CTU by offering ‘congratulations’ to Citizen Okl, before going on to label him ‘the new head of the tools of oppression’.

Movement leader Citizen Seperaist, adding his tuppence-worth, destroyed any chance of harmony between the two factions by proclaiming that ‘the fascists will choke on their own bile’. Despite the berating, the CTU managed to scrape the last remnants of organisation, and are currently holding an election.

At the time of going to press, Citizen mrgarethm is the hot favourite with three votes, with Citizen Okl and Citizen Cullen2005 behind on one vote each. However, Citizen thelightfantastic, assuming the role of Transitional Regional Director of the CTU, made the bold move to claim a veto against any candidate that was deemed unfit for the position.

Attempts by the PRM to put forward candidates, Citizens Comrade_Bowl and biffa99, were swiftly, and not altogether surprisingly, vetoed immediately. This action, however, has perhaps finally lent credence to the vociferous attacks by the PRM on the ‘undemocratic’ CTU.

As always, The Guardian Angel will keep you posted on how this unstable event progresses.